#WeddingWednesday - what do I wear in my hair?

We spent last weekend doing 'wedmin' - choosing our invites, finalising which baker gets to bake us a wheat free, dairy free cake, and sorting out our Gift Registry (thank John Lewis!) All the other elements of the wedding are coming together bit by bit so it has made me get 'the fear eyes' around the other elements of my outfits. I was greeted by a stress dream a few nights ago of what to put/wear in my hair on the BIG DAY. This lead to a freak out on Sunday afternoon followed by a frantic Pinterest session looking for inspiration and hoping for an answer, whilst Rich calmly and wisely exited stage left to make a lasagne.

What I'm finding very difficult is seeing how things fit together; I usually build an outfit from scratch by throwing laying items on my bed and adding and subtracting until the outfit feels 'done'. My wedding dress is currently being made, I don't have it to hand and so visualising what else to put with it has me in a panic ridden tailspin. To veil or not to veil, that is the question. Or is the question a tiny veil and a hat? Or no veil and a tiara? Or just a tiara? Or no tiara and a dead bird ala Carrie Bradshaw in her wedding outfit?

"I made the effort, I put a bird on my head."

I thought I was pretty set on having a veil after I tried one on when I went wedding dress shopping with my sister-in-law for her wedding dress a couple of years ago. In truth I was obsessed with the veil, I wanted to buy it and wear it then and there, parading around Reading in all my veiled glory. But when I was stood in my own gown (and the tears had subsided and the snotty tissues had been thrown away) they attached a veil to my head and

it looked a whole world of wrong. 

I didn't feel like me anymore; I felt swamped. like I was pretending to be something I wasn't.

So I need suggestions, help, advice, friendly comments about what my wedding head-gear should consist of. What did you wear? What didn't you wear and why? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

PS - 'the fear eyes' is a phenomenon my friend Emily noticed about me - when I don't like something or something scares me my eyes dilate uncontrollably, literally widening with fear. Hence, I get the fear eyes.

Shopping for my Wedding Dress (Part 4)

People have now begun to ask me:

"as a stylist are you feeling the pressure of finding a dress?"

The simple answer is no. Fashion and style are intensely personal experiences which can be influenced and shaped by the media, magazines and peers but I believe each one of us has an innate sense of style which, when displayed in all its awesomeness, is congruent with who we are, where we are going, and shows what we do.

The dress has to fit certain, non-negotiable, categories:

1. It has to fit.
2. It can't show my cleavage. I'm getting married in a church.
3. I have to be able to walk, sit, stand and eat in it. I'm not paying for a fancy meal only to be able to manage a few mouthfuls. I intend to chow down come Wedding Day.
4. I have to be able to wear it again. Just kidding. Although I might bring it out at fancy dress time, or just wear it when I am cleaning...you, know...to pep up my day. Like Monica and the gals from Friends back in the day....

But aside from that, it's my decision what I wear. It's my style.

  I have NO IDEA about wedding dress trends, no idea AT ALL and I don't want to know. 

I don't want an "on-trend" wedding dress simply because everyone else has that one. I want a dress which fits (see point number 1 above and whilst you are there you may want to re-read the other points as well), which I feel awesome in, which when I put it on, I'll know

YES, this is the dress I'm going to marry Rich in.

Shopping for my Wedding Dress (Part Three)

So I went online this week to try and cure my wedding dress blindness and put together a coherent wedding Pinterest board to send to my wedding florist, Cate Wood who owns Flowers at 180. I had had a tweet from Oxfam who directed me to their second-hand wedding dress site after hearing about my wedding dress dilemmas. Initially, when we got engaged, I adamantly told people I would find my wedding dress in a charity shop and buy some designer shoes to go with it which I would wear again...and again...and again. Sustainable shopping is one of the pillars of The Wardrobe Angel and half my wardrobe is from charity shops so it just felt right to go down this route.

Then something happened:

My Mum very, very kindly offered to buy my wedding dress. 

She remembered shopping for her wedding dress with my Nana as a pivotal moment in their relationship. I'm only going to do this (get married) once: so this kind of enduring, wonderfully special memory, this mother/daughter experience of wedding dress shopping was something I realised I wanted too. As Rich and I planned the guest list and the congratulation cards rolled in late last year, I realised that I had just been going through wedding planning motions, I forgot (or didn't quite realise) how many other people were supporting us and loving us during this frankly awesome time. (And I wasn't about to start dragging my Mum round every Oxfam in the area - she would not have been into that at all!) So I put down my ideas of a thrifted dress and dove head first (albeit terrified) into the wedding dress experience.

Even though I'm committed to trying dresses on in person, feeling the garments, seeing how they looked on me rather than on a picture on a model online, I did find an immensely awesome, minimal stylish label called Houghton based in New York. I spent a good hour browsing the bridal collection wistfully imagining the slim fitting dresses pulling like an elastic band on my 28F chest, dragging miles of fabric behind me as I'm at least a whole person shorter than the models. This was my wake-up call - yes the Houghton dresses are awesome and wonderfully aspirational but they aren't me. Not on my wedding day. They look perfect for weddings in castles, sleek registry offices, cool swanky London bars and on boat trips down the Thames. But a church wedding in Halifax followed by Fish and Chips? Pull the other one.

This is another big realisation I've had in wedding land - I've got to be realistic. I'm 5'3" and my weight is 7 1/2 stone. Too much fabric and I'll be like Alice slipping down the rabbit hole; blink and you'll miss me. Our wedding location isn't high profile, it isn't fantastically glam, but it's our home. And I want a dress which fits our bill, not the bill certain dresses give license for.

So onwards.... I've had so many positive messages from people...

"Just keep an open mind."

"Focus on hair and make-up so all the focus isn't on the dress."

And a lovely message on my blog from a lady who works in a wedding dress shop:

"Everyone is uncomfortable the first time they try bridal dresses on and why wouldn't you be?! You probably have never done it before and hopefully never will again!"

Thanks for all your messages and for reading... it's fun writing these blogs! 

PS - here's s bridal horror story if ever I saw one - click the link ... Brides ordering online receive dresses which can barely be called dresses, and certainly aren't a patch on what they thought they were ordering. 

Shopping for my wedding dress (Part 2)

So last Friday was an experience I shall never forget. Wedding Dress shopping has surprised, delighted and scared me in equal measure. Why?

1. I've never been so closely aware of my physical form before. 

Head to foot in reams of fabric, suddenly I was acutely aware of my exact proportions, my waist, my chest, even my chin! Better than being naked, one of the dresses hugged my curves severely, announcing my hourglass shape. I looked wide-eyed in horror at my reflection as the words "I feel like Jessica Rabbit" left my mouth. There were my tits, my ass, my shape...so clearly defined....so damn sexy....and not in any way shape or form appropriate for a church wedding. I felt like sex was oozing from my pores, steaming off me in a hot sweat. That's the power of a dress right there.

2. My height (or lack thereof) was magnified tenfold. 

I always wear heels but in a height-off between me and the dresses, the dresses won hands-down. When I walked into the shop I immediately folded my arms and became increasingly defensive and cowed. I put my bag down and retreated to the corner of the room. The dresses, though hanging a safe distance away on rails, were already taller than me and I was wearing heels. This was intimidating no end.

3. I feel my inner princess has been unleashed. 

I was always a tomboy growing up - didn't like dresses, wore dungarees and when I got my hair cut short I marvelled in glee at the mounds of discarded hair on the floor. Even at uni I turned up at one of my hall formals wearing trousers and a top rather than a dress. Then I tried on a wedding dress and BOOM - I was parading around like Cinderella waiting for her pumpkin coach to arrive. It was magnificent!!! I got so into it - shoes, veil, headpiece - the works! Never thought that day would come but it did and I LOVED IT.

4. Wearing a wedding dress requires herculean strength.

I tried one dress on with a massive train, the weight of which was what I imagine dragging around a dead person is like. People talk about high heels impeding women's ability to walk. Well, I'd like to chuck certain designs of wedding dresses into that pot as well. I felt physically unable to lift this train of fabric up. I struggled out of the fitting room, made 2 hapless steps forward then had to be rescued by the assistant who said.

"this dress is really made for someone 5'8" tall and a good few sizes bigger than you." 

Kudos to Di for dragging that train that around!

This woman attached HER BABY to her train. There are no words.

She stripped the TRAIN OF TERROR dress me off and we went onto what looked like an awesome dress but again - OH MY DAYS HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK IN THIS???? The dress had a wonderfully sparkly top half, was cinched in at the waist and then sprouted like a material fountain out from the waist a good few inches, with reams of fabric layers in the underskirt. Due to height issues (see point number 2) the top, supposed to be a modest V Neck, practically hit my navel so had the rather weird look of J-Lo circa the Puff Daddy Days...

Having never worn a floor length gown, especially one with so many layers, I ended up kind of simultaneously walking and kicking the underskirts of the dress to get around. Seriously NOT a good look. Plus massively heavy!!


All in all an eye opening and muscle toning experience. But, on a serious note, with each dress I got a stronger and stronger sense of what I wanted to wear on my wedding day and how I want our wedding to look and feel. The shop assistants could not have been more helpful and for that I am eternally grateful. So where next? Next stop on my wedding dress journey I am heading online....wish me luck. 

Shopping for my wedding dress (Part 1)

This is already hilarious for me. Much as I love clothes I have never dreamt of my dream wedding dress. You read that correctly. I have dreamt of Mulberry handbags and mid heeled court shoes, of wardrobes with magnificent sliding doors and clothes all neatly organise inside. I have dreamt of holidays in Ibiza, the ultimate red lipstick and of the perfect brew and the accompanying wheat free biscuit. But I have never dreamt of my dream wedding dress.

I'm a stylist and image consultant and love clothes, but this wedding dress malarkey is a whole new, terrifying, other worldly ball game for me. Here are some wedding dress shaped facts about The Wardrobe Angel:

• I have never tried on a wedding dress before. NEVER. NEVER EVER.
• I fell out with maxi dresses last year and have never worn a floor length gown so I don't know if I'll like that wedding dress material swishing around me.  
• I think I have wedding dress blindness - I bought a bridal magazine and after a few pages of flipping through I couldn't tell the difference between one dress and the next. 
• I'm scared of the weight of the dress; I'm hardly a body builder and carrying around all that tulle and lace for a whole day seems out of my bodily reach.

We've set the date, booked the church and the venue and now there is this HUGE gaping hole in the organisation of our wedding - my missing dress. And time is ticking. I get married in under 9 months. I rang the very wonderful Natalie Willingham to book her as my make-up artist on the day and she gave me some very sound advice,

"You've never tried on a wedding dress before and they are a different breed of clothing altogether so when you enter the shop take off your stylist hat and be guided by the shop assistants."

Except here we are - the first day of wedding dress shopping is tomorrow. I don't know what pants to wear, I am plucked, waxed and shaved within an inch of my life and I have NO IDEA what to try on first. I don't know what I like. I can feel a huge panic rise in my chest and it does not subside. My Mum is clearly loving this and I am trying my very best to go through the motions but I NO IDEA what I am doing.

And I am TERRIFIED.