So last Friday was an experience I shall never forget. Wedding Dress shopping has surprised, delighted and scared me in equal measure. Why?
Head to foot in reams of fabric, suddenly I was acutely aware of my exact proportions, my waist, my chest, even my chin! Better than being naked, one of the dresses hugged my curves severely, announcing my hourglass shape. I looked wide-eyed in horror at my reflection as the words "I feel like Jessica Rabbit" left my mouth. There were my tits, my ass, my shape...so clearly defined....so damn sexy....and not in any way shape or form appropriate for a church wedding. I felt like sex was oozing from my pores, steaming off me in a hot sweat. That's the power of a dress right there.
I always wear heels but in a height-off between me and the dresses, the dresses won hands-down. When I walked into the shop I immediately folded my arms and became increasingly defensive and cowed. I put my bag down and retreated to the corner of the room. The dresses, though hanging a safe distance away on rails, were already taller than me and I was wearing heels. This was intimidating no end.
I was always a tomboy growing up - didn't like dresses, wore dungarees and when I got my hair cut short I marvelled in glee at the mounds of discarded hair on the floor. Even at uni I turned up at one of my hall formals wearing trousers and a top rather than a dress. Then I tried on a wedding dress and BOOM - I was parading around like Cinderella waiting for her pumpkin coach to arrive. It was magnificent!!! I got so into it - shoes, veil, headpiece - the works! Never thought that day would come but it did and I LOVED IT.
I tried one dress on with a massive train, the weight of which was what I imagine dragging around a dead person is like. People talk about high heels impeding women's ability to walk. Well, I'd like to chuck certain designs of wedding dresses into that pot as well. I felt physically unable to lift this train of fabric up. I struggled out of the fitting room, made 2 hapless steps forward then had to be rescued by the assistant who said.
She stripped the TRAIN OF TERROR dress me off and we went onto what looked like an awesome dress but again - OH MY DAYS HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK IN THIS???? The dress had a wonderfully sparkly top half, was cinched in at the waist and then sprouted like a material fountain out from the waist a good few inches, with reams of fabric layers in the underskirt. Due to height issues (see point number 2) the top, supposed to be a modest V Neck, practically hit my navel so had the rather weird look of J-Lo circa the Puff Daddy Days...
Having never worn a floor length gown, especially one with so many layers, I ended up kind of simultaneously walking and kicking the underskirts of the dress to get around. Seriously NOT a good look. Plus massively heavy!!
All in all an eye opening and muscle toning experience. But, on a serious note, with each dress I got a stronger and stronger sense of what I wanted to wear on my wedding day and how I want our wedding to look and feel. The shop assistants could not have been more helpful and for that I am eternally grateful. So where next? Next stop on my wedding dress journey I am heading online....wish me luck.
1. I've never been so closely aware of my physical form before.
Head to foot in reams of fabric, suddenly I was acutely aware of my exact proportions, my waist, my chest, even my chin! Better than being naked, one of the dresses hugged my curves severely, announcing my hourglass shape. I looked wide-eyed in horror at my reflection as the words "I feel like Jessica Rabbit" left my mouth. There were my tits, my ass, my shape...so clearly defined....so damn sexy....and not in any way shape or form appropriate for a church wedding. I felt like sex was oozing from my pores, steaming off me in a hot sweat. That's the power of a dress right there.
2. My height (or lack thereof) was magnified tenfold.
I always wear heels but in a height-off between me and the dresses, the dresses won hands-down. When I walked into the shop I immediately folded my arms and became increasingly defensive and cowed. I put my bag down and retreated to the corner of the room. The dresses, though hanging a safe distance away on rails, were already taller than me and I was wearing heels. This was intimidating no end.
3. I feel my inner princess has been unleashed.
I was always a tomboy growing up - didn't like dresses, wore dungarees and when I got my hair cut short I marvelled in glee at the mounds of discarded hair on the floor. Even at uni I turned up at one of my hall formals wearing trousers and a top rather than a dress. Then I tried on a wedding dress and BOOM - I was parading around like Cinderella waiting for her pumpkin coach to arrive. It was magnificent!!! I got so into it - shoes, veil, headpiece - the works! Never thought that day would come but it did and I LOVED IT.
4. Wearing a wedding dress requires herculean strength.
I tried one dress on with a massive train, the weight of which was what I imagine dragging around a dead person is like. People talk about high heels impeding women's ability to walk. Well, I'd like to chuck certain designs of wedding dresses into that pot as well. I felt physically unable to lift this train of fabric up. I struggled out of the fitting room, made 2 hapless steps forward then had to be rescued by the assistant who said.
"this dress is really made for someone 5'8" tall and a good few sizes bigger than you."
 |
| Kudos to Di for dragging that train that around! |
 |
| This woman attached HER BABY to her train. There are no words. |
She stripped the TRAIN OF TERROR dress me off and we went onto what looked like an awesome dress but again - OH MY DAYS HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK IN THIS???? The dress had a wonderfully sparkly top half, was cinched in at the waist and then sprouted like a material fountain out from the waist a good few inches, with reams of fabric layers in the underskirt. Due to height issues (see point number 2) the top, supposed to be a modest V Neck, practically hit my navel so had the rather weird look of J-Lo circa the Puff Daddy Days...
Having never worn a floor length gown, especially one with so many layers, I ended up kind of simultaneously walking and kicking the underskirts of the dress to get around. Seriously NOT a good look. Plus massively heavy!!
All in all an eye opening and muscle toning experience. But, on a serious note, with each dress I got a stronger and stronger sense of what I wanted to wear on my wedding day and how I want our wedding to look and feel. The shop assistants could not have been more helpful and for that I am eternally grateful. So where next? Next stop on my wedding dress journey I am heading online....wish me luck.
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